


Gone Too Soon

by siriuslyfangirling



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: A little comfort, A lot - Freeform, Alfred is the best, Angst, Canon Compliant, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Feels, Grief, Hurt, I edited, No editing we die like mne, Teen Titans #18, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Who Am I Kidding?, hallucination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 04:35:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20076241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslyfangirling/pseuds/siriuslyfangirling
Summary: Longing.Tim never expected to feel this way towards the demon brat. However, he did.Damian Wayne (formerly Al Ghul) was merely a ten year old boy, and he died. There was nothing anyone could do.READ TAGSCanon compliant to Teen Titans (2011) #18





	Gone Too Soon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cdelphiki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cdelphiki/gifts).

> I hope you enjoy.  
It's my first ever published fic!

Longing.

Tim never expected to feel this way towards the demon brat. However, he did. 

Damian Wayne (formerly Al Ghul) was merely a ten year old boy, and he died. There was nothing anyone could do. 

Tim spent so much time despising him, resenting him, not trusting him, and not truly understanding him, he had failed to see the big picture. Damian had only been ten years old. 

Sure, he could be an arrogant little shit, and a giant pain in the ass, but just like Tim himself, Bruce, Dick, and even Jason, it was Damian's way of shielding himself. 

He just wanted to fit in. He wanted approval. He wanted to be accepted. His own mother disowned him, because he was unwilling to be a pawn in her game. 

Damian had abandoned his comforts, and clear future. Had left his entire life behind to be with his father. To be better. To make up for his past crimes. And although he was taught and trained every single day to be an assassin, a ruthless leader, the new Alexander, he gave all that up in a second, to be a hero and to make his father proud. 

And Tim had done nothing, except criticize him. 

He was such an idiot. 

He shouldn't have held grudges. He shouldn't have encouraged the tension between them.

Tim longed for all the opportunities he could've had with Damian. 

Now Damian was dead. He sacrificed himself to save an innocent life. To save his brother from his clone his own mother created to hurt him. Emotionally and physically.

He could've been safe. Bruce and Dick would've both went to hell and back to make sure he remained safe. Yet the little brat wouldn't let his family deal with the issues on his own. No, he deliberately disobeyed a direct order to save them. He died a hero, but by then it was too late. He was just a kid. 

Kids shouldn't have to sacrifice themselves. Kids shouldn't have to fight for their lives and others. The Justice League and all the other adult heroes were too busy dealing with other threats to recognize the danger their children, younger siblings and proteges, were constantly in. 

Tim knew this. He knew this. He created the Teen Titans to help these children. Because if the adults can't take care of them, if the adults can't protect them, they had to be there for each other. protect each other. Care for each other. Like a family would. 

Children shouldn't fight wars the adults created. Children shouldn't be soldiers. Children shouldn't be trained to be assassins from birth. Yet here they were. 

Tim didn't hate Damian. He never truly did. Sure, he convinced himself he did. He thought he did, but in reality, he didn't. Not enough to wish him dead. 

Damian bothered and hurt him a lot, and that made Tim hesitant to try and form a good relationship between them, but even during one of their more unpleasant and painful fights, he never wanted Damian to be fatally injured. Much less, dead. 

Tim didn't trust Damian. Not because he thought the kid wasn't trying, but because being wary and cautious around someone with Damian's background, was important in what they did in their everyday lives. ( Also the fact that Damian tried to kill him a few times). 

But after everything, Damian was still technically his little brother. Tim had always wanted a younger brother when he was a kid, and when he had gotten one, when Damian had arrived, he dismissed his feelings. Tim didn't even stop to ponder over the fact that he had a younger sibling. He just started noting all the negative ways that impacted him. 

And maybe, just maybe, it wasn't entirely Tim's fault. The little demon did make it difficult to get along, and wasn't that the understatement of the century? But Tim also should've put in a little more effort. Tried just a little harder. Like Dick had. He should've tried to break through the walls the kid had put up. 

Tim regretted not getting to know the kid a little more. What was his favourite colour? Blue? Green? Yellow? Did he enjoy reading? Tim didn't even know the kid's hobby and obvious talent in the arts. He only found out when he witnessed Bruce in the library flipping over Damian's sketchbook after his funeral. The look on Bruce's face, regret, pain, grief, was one Tim will never forget. 

Tim longed for those days. Those days where he could've done something to get to know Damian. He wished he could go back. He really did. Go back and help the kid. Go back and tell him he's proud because even know it was difficult to notice, Damian had changed. He became better. He started to help others, not because he was told to; not because he wanted to prove himself; not because it would make Bruce proud; but because it was the right thing to do and because Damian wanted to help. Wanted to be a hero. 

Tim was skeptical at first. He resented Damian, but the kid he'd seen the last few weeks? The kid that put his life on the line for others? The kid who put the mission first above everything and helped Bruce by giving him things no other Robin was able to? That kid was Robin.

He was worthy of being Robin and being Batman's sidekick. 

But Tim couldn't tell him that. His pride and hurt stopped him from saying anything to the kid, even when the kid admitted that Tim was a Robin and was better for the Teen Titans, Tim was still unwilling to say anything. Now it was too late.

Too late to apologize. Too late to start over. Too late to befriend him. To late to tease him, like proper brothers do. Too late to fight alongside him, for he was a formidable partner. 

Damian shouldn't have died.

He should not have died. 

It wasn't okay.

Nothing about the entire situation, from Damian's mother, to Leviathan, to Damian's clone, was okay. 

Damian shouldn't have been there. 

Whether it was with Dick or with Bruce, he shouldn't have been put in that kind of danger. 

It was unnecessary and unethical.

And Tim was sick of it. He wanted to scream.

It's not fair! None of this was fair! It should've been someone else! Anyone else!

Why did it have to be the ten year old?

Tim wasn't aware that he had been voicing his thoughts aloud to Damian. Damian who was a figment of his imagination.

Tim was crying. Tears streaming down his pale, exhausted face.

Damian was speaking to him.

"Do it Tim." God! That was the first time the kid had called him by his first name. "Do everything you can to protect us."

The child soldier's tiny arms wrapped around Tim's neck. The grip on him was strong. He hadn't even noticed that he was on the ground.

Tim wasn't aware of how long he was kneeling there, alone with his thoughts in the dark cave, except for the hallucination of his younger brother, because that's what Damian was. Tim was cold too, but he didn't care.

Suddenly, the lights flickered on, and Alfred spoke from behind him. 

"Master Tim? What on earth are you doing down here in the dark?" He asked. 

Tim braced himself, and took a deep breath. He knew it was a strange sight. Him crying in the darkness in the middle of the cave with his arms around nothing.

"I just needed a few minutes alone" he said. "To say good-bye."

Alfred placed a hand on his right shoulder, in a comforting way.

"I understand completely, but if I may, now may not be the best time to bear this burden in solitude."

Tim raised his head and looked into Alfred's sad, misty eyes.

"It is times like this, we need to look to each other for support and strength" Alfred continued.

"You are right Alfred." Tim tried for a smile. "As always."

He glanced away from Alfred to gaze at Damian, who was watching expectantly.

Alfred asked about the Teen Titans, and whether or not Tim shared his loss with them. Much to his dismay, Tim shook his head, indicating a 'no'.

"They don't really know much about me, to be honest. They don't even know my real name." Tim reluctantly told the older man.

"...You know them more than I," Alfred began, "But if I might suggest? There are more important things in he world than secrets."

Tim was getting emotional again. He threw his arms around Alfred.

"Thanks Alfred" Tim choked back tears.

Alfred was hesitant at first, but he quickly succumbed to the warm embrace.

"I'm glad you understand you are not alone in this" He murmured quietly to the shaking boy in his arms.

Tim looked at Damian.

At the innocent, childlike expression on his face.

At the way tears glistened in his eyes, pooling down his green domino mask.

At the shy wave he gave him as he faded away into nothingness.

"Yeah, Alfred. I do."

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests, comment, or contact me on Instagram: @siriusly_fangirling and Tumblr: siriuslyfangirlingbatfam  
Teen Titans (2011) #18  
Teen Titans (2003) #92  
(Mentioned)


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